A revolutionary method for eliminating defensiveness
More than a technique, a new way of being

From the time I first read this book in manuscript form, I knew that Sharon was onto something extraordinary. Taking the War Out of Our Words delivers every bit of its title’s promise, giving us simple, powerful tools for breaking the cycle of defensive speech. This is truly a paradigm-shifting book. We’re used to thinking that learning to communicate more effectively has to be a struggle. With this model profound changes can happen so quickly. It has not only helped me in my professional life and in my marriage, but in parenting a toddler as well!"

Caroline Pincus, manuscript consultant and former senior editor at HarperCollins

Do you want to communicate honestly without getting defensive or into power struggles—no matter how others act?

Sharon Strand Ellison has dedicated her life to developing a method of communication that can disarm defensiveness and diffuse power struggle.

Sharon continues the conversation on the PNDC Insight Blog. Be part of the PNDC community by reading, sharing and commenting on the posts as well as reading what others have to say. Be Non-Defensive ~ Be Strong.

In the Learning Room section on the drop-down menu, you can access stories, exercises, articles and interviews.

You’ll also find information about Powerful Non-Defensive Communication™ conference keynotes, workshops for professional organizations and public workshops for individuals, couples, & parents that Sharon and a diverse group of PNDC trainers offer. We invite you to visit often and share this information with others. If you like, you can sign up for our newsletter and get PNDC Tips & Stories and/or PNDC Event Notices.

How much does defensiveness cost us? 

As Individuals:
Self-Esteem, Respect, Relationships

As Professionals:
Productivity, Clients, Success

As Organizations:
Team Performance, Revenues, Reputation

As Communities:
Local & Global Solutions, Peace, Abundance

The Problem—Defensiveness is Pervasive  

And Expensive:
For Individuals, Families, Professional Organizations, Corporations, and Society

For thousands of years people have used the "rules of war" as the basis for how we talk to each other.
We often get defensive quickly when we want to protect ourselves.
Traditional communication methods literally create and accelerate conflict.

The Solution—Eliminate Defensiveness

Just as we can develop new computer programs that serve different functions, we can shift to a new model for communication that does not have defensiveness as part of its “program.”

The system for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication™ Sharon Strand Ellison has developed offers tools we need in order to:

Protect ourselves without being defensive and achieve our goals without engaging in power struggle.
Be open, honest, and authentic in a way that is freeing, disarming and contagious
Resolve conflict and build respectful, reciprocal relationships so we can create health in our families, excellence in our work, and strong communities.

"Albert Einstein was able to visualize and communicate a more profoundly accurate model of how our physical Reality is structured, as a quantum space-time fabric. I believe Sharon Ellison has done the same with a more profoundly accurate model of how our human Relationships are structured, as a linguistic virtual reality. Changing how we speak changes how we relate. Her work might transform humanity in the 21st century."

—Stephen Weitz, Ph.D., Biochemist

The Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication • Contact Us
Powerful Non-Defensive Communication is a trademarked name. © 1994-2014 Sharon Strand Ellison

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"The premise is powerful: Human communication has been shaped by our focus on defensive self-protection and power struggle."

—Mike Maza, Dallas Morning News


"Taking the War Out of our Words ought to be required reading in high school, college, before getting married, and before becoming a parent.  Sharon Strand Ellison has the power to turn conflict into cooperation, resentment into rapport.  This book can change lives and relationships, Read it and reap."

Sam Horn, author of Tongue Fu! and Take the Bully by the Horns.

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