Praise for Taking the War Out of Our Words

From the time I first read this book in manuscript form, I knew that Sharon was onto something extraordinary. Taking the War Out of Our Words delivers every bit of its title’s promise, giving us simple, powerful tools for breaking the cycle of defensive speech. This is truly a paradigm-shifting book. We’re used to thinking that learning to communicate more effectively has to be a struggle. With this model profound changes can happen so quickly. It has not only helped me in my professional life and in my marriage, but in parenting a toddler as well!
—Caroline Pincus, manuscript consultant and former senior editor at HarperCollins

Using Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, I feel like a camera body that has just been given a new set of lenses. A set of lenses with no distortion. No matter what I'm viewing, the images that come out of me are true.
—Jesse di Franco

The seeds of peace have been planted. I believe that if all children could learn non-defensive communication at an early age, we would have a different world.
—Linda Bennett, Thurston Middle School, Springfield Oregon

For centuries, Aristotle’s model for communication has been taught in Western culture as the art of winning arguments. Powerful Non- Defensive Communication replaces this traditional model with one that gives each person the ability to communicate effectively without engaging in power struggle.
—Dr. Martin Jacobi, Chair, English Department, Clemson University

I believe Sharon has developed a program that is nothing short of revolutionary. Sharon's model is built on a peace paradigm of communication that stresses respect, clarity and honesty. Energy is spent on developing openness and clarity rather than defending, attacking, and persuading. The surprise is that this peace model is much more powerful and effective than the war model.
—Dr. Kostas Bagakis, San Francisco State University

How many times have I said “Well, I know what she's going to say, so why bother asking?” This kind of anticipation is exactly what keeps us in conflict with others. Sharon’s book teaches the art of asking questions without any assumptions or expectations. And, miraculously, what we hear is rarely what we anticipated. And here is where the learning and the real communication begins.
—Janine Sternlieb, Host, A Novel Idea, KRCB Radio

If the people in Washington read Sharon's book and worked with her a while, our country would be a much better place to live.
—Marjorie Weingrow, Director, SAGE Scholars Program, UC Berkeley

I think almost any community group or grassroots organization could benefit from Sharon's methods.
—Derick Miller, President, Berkeley PTA

I consider Sharon Ellison's Powerful Non-Defensive Communication to be the ultimate language of conflict management.
—Mady Shumofsky, Conflict Management Consultant

After looking for a way to communicate with clarity and an open heart, I had the good fortune to find Sharon Ellison’s Taking the War Out of Our Words. I hope this book reaches a critical mass, so we can all improve our lives personally and globally.
—Vivienne Verdon-Roe, Academy Award winner, "Women for America, for the World"

Powerful Non-Defensive Communication is the missing link that bridges the gap between our desire to communicate effectively and our ability to actually do so.
—Robert Brownstone, Corporate Educational Specialist

The most powerful and effective communication technique I have seen. I wonder what would have happened if Sharon Ellison had been at Camp David [for the Middle East peace talks].
—Maureen A. Tighe, U.S. Department of Justice

The kind of communication skills that should be started at the cradle for our new ones and shouted from the roof tops for those of us stuck in our patterns of defensiveness.
—Annie Kane

A truly superb book applicable to all situations and relationships and a source of hope for everyone. Unlike many of those books in the self-help section that have one good idea, enough for a magazine article, and then are expanded into fluff, the book is filled with important information from the first page to the last.
—Anna Belle Kaufman, MFA, MA, MFT, ATR

An innovative and practical process with unlimited potential. Ellison has developed a powerful method which will strengthen interpersonal relationships, increase organization effectiveness, and contribute greatly to building a more productive and harmonious society.
—Diana Chesterfield, Corporate Diversity Manager, Nordstrom

While tools like Steven Covey's 7 Habits can make a marked improvement in people's lives, Sharon's work with PNDC goes down another level, addressing our basic communication methods.
—Mike Scrobonia, Operations Manager, Versatron, Inc.

This is a masterful and elegant work. It is larger and more powerful than the Mars/Venus model! This work is a map. It gives me new direction, and I hope that my life in this world can become more worthwhile, and human.
—Phil Willcher

In my training as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I believe this is the most powerful structure I’ve learned. It has tremendous implications for most human interactions.
—Bette Acuff, Ph.D., M.A.

I have been able to test this method with the most difficult person in my life. To my absolute amazement I was able to diffuse the anger and aggression in an instant. I am actually able to speak without compromising my integrity or becoming entrapped in power struggle. I am able to stay true to myself without a need for masking my feelings in order to remained protected. I believe this book may be preventing many years of unnecessary, damaging stress to my life. I will return to it repeatedly as a resource.
—Tifanie Hayden

We need Sharon Ellison's work in our homes, in our offices, and most of all, in our hearts."
—Evelyn C White

A message that should be spread across the nation. So simple, I don’t know why no one has discovered it before.
—Rob Merlo, engineer

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