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Books and CDs by Sharon EllisonWe offer books and CDs for people who wish to learn and/or strengthen their non-defensive communication skills. We also offer selected other books by members of the PNDC Consortium of Trainers. Click on the item name below to view details for each.
Books, CDs and tapes by Dr. Monza Naff:Shipping/Cancellation/Return Policies: Most orders ship within 48 hours. It is important to us that you are happy with any materials you purchase. If for any reason you you'd like to return an item, please send it back in its original condition within 30 days and we'll send you a full refund. See Complete Shipping, Cancellation & Return Policies. CHECK OUTTaking the War Out of Our WordsPaperback Book, $21.00
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By the time I was six, I realized something was curiously wrong about the way people talked to each other. When called ugly names, kids would taunt back, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." I didn’t believe them. I could tell that they were really upset. I also remember my friend Patty saying, "I would never let that stupid Sarah know she made me feel bad!" I squinted at her, as if to say, "How will you get over it if you don’t talk to her about it?"
I watched adults act the same way. When I heard my mother’s friend Clara say, "I’m not going to let him hurt me," I could tell that she was already hurt. Behind her tough words, she struggled not to cry. What puzzled me was why people so often tried to act like they didn’t care when someone hurt their feelings. Why would people hide their feelings instead of showing them?
Read complete Introduction (PDF version)
Dear Listener:
If you wish, you can certainly listen straight through any chapter in
this Book-On-CD, Taking the War Out of Our Words. At
the same time, I want the CD to be a good resource for quick reference.
I have created the tracks with the intention of making it easy to find
exactly what you want. For example, every type of question in the chapter
on "Formats for Questions" is on a separate track. All conclusions
and summary lists also have their own track for fast review.
This booklet not only lists the tracks on each of the 12 CD's, but provides
you with an outline to remind you of the skills you will be learning.
Also, if you have a copy of the book, you use the index of examples in the book as a guide when you want to reference
how to handle a specific issue-such as with a family member or someone
at work. I hope you enjoy the CD's and gain much you can use in all your
relationships.
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Praise: “Hearing your voice and modeling after it was calming and helped me to bring my voice down to a non-defensive tone . . . I am able to listen calmly when under attack and not feel threatened . . . I have never heard anyone teach this way of communicating” . . . “Your tape . . .has saved my relationship with my husband and dramatically improved my relationship with my son.” More...
A series of four CDs - with rich, real examples - will guide you in being able to create strong, healthy parent-child relationships.
Applicable Ages: Most of the examples are for children up to age 11 or 12. However, even with teens, collage-age students, and adult children, the principles are the same and changes in the parent-child relationship start with the same kinds of limits on attitude and behavior, such as, “If you speak to me rudely, I’m not willing to continue the conversation right now.” The examples cover how to set limits on core values and attitudes such as respect, appreciation, honesty, and self-esteem, as well as dealing with specific issues and behaviors such as chores, homework, sibling conflict, bullying, and so on.
Parent Comment: "I have a teenage daughter and after attending one of Sharon's lectures I purchased her CD set with hopes it might strengthen our communication. I was discouraged however when I discovered that the CD set was geared for children up to eleven. Disappointed as I was I decided to give them a listen anyway. Much to my surprise and delight not only was it for younger children, it was totally applicable to my teenager, my husband and anyone else I chose to communicate with!"
"So enlightening were her insights that I felt as though I needed a total lobotomy to undo years of misguidance and miscommunication. And then I listened to them again and began to try out some of her suggestions and have already had positive results. I realized that above all, the real gift in Sharon's work is that of hope, the idea that it is never too late to change. She has given us a way out of our power struggles with our children and provided the skills we need to have a healthier, more struggle-free life with them." —Yvonne O'Hare, San Francisco Parent Coalition
Whether we do things just like our parents did, or very differently, most of us fear making mistakes that will hurt our own children. This CD, which lays the foundation for the skills presented in the other three CDs, presents four typical patterns we use as parents that can be damaging to our children. Sharon will offer an alternative, one that can give us the skills we need to use authority wisely, without abusing it.
As parents, so many of us struggle to figure out how to set clear boundaries with our children. Often we try to get “cooperation” through discussion and don’t set limits until we are angry. This CD will cover setting firm, yet gentle limits about core values (attitudes), such as respect and appreciation and self-esteem, as well as with specific issues (behaviors) such as chores, homework, sibling conflict, and bullying. In response to this kind of limit setting, your child (or teen) can gain security and learn to be respectful, competent, and reciprocal.
Our children have a world of their own from the very beginning — a life narrative that includes their perceptions, experiences and goals. The way we ask questions often causes children (or teens) to slam their “book” closed so we can't see it or understand it. Sharon presents guidelines for asking questions that increase the likelihood of your child opening up voluntarily and sharing his or her ideas, inner feelings and story with you.
Our children (and teens) often react to conversations with us as if we were giving a lecture or making a demand—and too often we are. Sharon provides us with four steps for giving your child feedback and openly expressing your own feelings and ideas—as well as hearing his or her response with equal respect. Using these steps, your child will be less likely to reject your wisdom, will listen more seriously, and may even seek out your opinion.
Shipping/Cancellation/Return Policies: Most orders ship within 48 hours. It is important to us that you are happy with any materials you purchase. If for any reason you you'd like to return an item, please send it back in its original condition within 30 days and we'll send you a full refund. See Complete Shipping, Cancellation & Return Policies.
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