With Sharon Strand Ellison

Practice Objective: To facilitate learning a new paradigm / process for communication that can eliminate defensiveness and give us the skills needed to be real and genuine in personal, professional and community relationships.

Winter Dates: The Weekend of January 13, 14, & 15th, 2012
Location: The Claremont Hotel, Oakland, CA
Times: Friday night, 6:30 - 9:30 p.m. — Saturday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. — Sunday 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.
CEUs: Available for MFTs and LCSWs (12 hours)

Future PNDC Level I Workshop Dates:

Spring Dates: (TBA)
Fall-Dates: The Weekend of September 14, 15, & 16, 2012 (Location: TBA)

The Non-Defensive Process Creates Balance

When it comes to being “honest” as a matter of integrity versus being “accommodating” out of concern for others, I find that people tend to fall toward one end of the continuum or the other. While most of us, to varying degrees, have the ability to be both direct and caring, the “honest” people often see the “accommodators” as being indirect, even dishonest. The “accommodators” often see those who pride themselves on their honesty as harsh, even cruel and hurtful. 

I believe old methods of communication create this kind of polarization, not only between honesty and accommodation, but all forms of giving and receiving, destroying our capacity for genuine reciprocity. Alternatively, one of the things I love about the non-defensive process is that it allows people to be honest while holding a position of respect and compassion. Another is that it creates space for responsiveness to the needs of others without losing clarity about our own boundaries. PNDC gives people on both sides the ability to be more balanced.  With Care, Sharon

Powerful Non-Defensive Communication is a paradigm for communication that does not rely on defensiveness for self-protection or power struggle to achieve our goals. The first segment of the workshop focuses on gaining a detailed understanding of how traditional communication (in many cultures) has been based on the "rules of war," thereby causing us to get defensive easily, creating destructive power struggles, even with those we love most. We often become controlling and manipulative, even when our intentions are “good.” The remainder of the workshop focuses on learning how to shift to a system of communication where we can communicate non-defensively with far more power, even when we don't have the other person’s cooperation. At the same time, the process often prompts others to drop their defenses instantly, opening the door to the kind of real, honest, respectful conversation that can bring resolution to conflict and transform relationships. 

Part I — The War Model: During the first evening, we'll look at how this "War Model" for communication works, including a discussion of the physiology of defensiveness and the 6 typical defensive modes (3 passive and 3 agressive) that people use daily. We'll look at common ways of asking questions, making statements, and giving predictions that literally and systematically create and accelerate conflict.

Part II — The Non-Defensive Model: For the rest of the weekend, we'll discuss the principles of non-defensive communication and practice 8 formats for listening and speaking in ways that can disarm defensivenes. We'll look at how to change four elements when we use these formats: (1) intention, (2) tone, (3) body language, and (4) phrasing. The skills learned are not a "script," but a process that can be used in real, spontaneous communication.

Questions: We'll practice asking questions, using an entirely different tone of voice than is commonly used, and look at different formats for asking questions that can disarm defensiveness and get at the heart of an issue quickly.

Statements: We'll examine and practice 3 steps for giving feedback without conveying judgement, as well as how to express our own thoughts and feelings dynamically without alienating others.

Predictions: We'll also study and practice how to create boundaries that create reciporicty and mutual respect.

Teaching Methods: Presentation of concepts and skills, story, disucssion, role-playing and mat work (volunteers only), as well as practice exercises in pairs and/or small groups.

Which level to begin with if you have heard me speak before: some of you who have heard me do shorter presentations at conferences or agency workshops and want to learn the skills at a deeperlevel have asked if you should start with the PNDC Level I or with one of the Level II workshops on: Questions, Statements, and/or Predictions. If you have heard only a one- or two- or three-hour presentation then I recommend you take the PNDC Introductory (Level I) workshop. If you have had a full-day workshop, you can move on to level II — unless you want to further review and deepening your understanding of the process before going to the next level.

Registration:

1. Sign Up: Email: info@pndc.com    Subject Line, Include: PNDC Level I
2. Cost: $385.00  (Partial Scholarships Available)
3. Deposit: $100    (You may also pay the full amount if you like)
4. Payment Options: Call with Credit Card Information for Deposit OR Send Check

To Pay by Credit Card, Call Secure Line: 510-332-0020
Leave: (1) Name (2) Phone Number (3) Workshop Title (4) Credit Card Number (4) Ex. Date & (5) 3 Letter Code on Back

Send Check to: Sharon Ellison or PNDC Institute, 4100-10 Redwood Road, No.316, Oakland, CA 94619

You are welcome to contact Sharon directly for more information.

Sharon Ellison:   Phone: 510-332-0020 or 800-714-7334   Email: sharon@pndc.com

The Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication
Phone: 800-714-7334 or 510-655-8086 • Email: info@pndc.com
Powerful Non-Defensive Communication is a trademarked name. © 1994-2009 Sharon Strand Ellison