We offer books and CDs for people who wish to learn the Powerful Non-Defensive Communication process developed by Sharon Strand Ellison. We also offer other selected books by members of the PNDC Consortium of Trainers. All materials we offer are designed to enhance our ability—as individuals, professionals, families, and community members—to live life with non-defensive presence and power.
Taking the War Out of Our Words The Art of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication
Praise: “This is a masterful and elegant work.” . . . “Unlike many books that have one good idea, this book is filled with important information from the first page to the last.” . . . “I sat up the rest of the night reading your book.” “ . . . applicable to all situations and relationships.” . . . “Extraordinary" “ . . . material not found in other, well-regarded works on negotiation and communication.” “ . . . delivers every bit of its title’s promise.” “ . . . amazed by the results.” “ . . . with the most difficult person in my life, I was able to defuse the anger and aggression in an instant.” . . . “ . . . overwhelmed with the immensity . . . " “A practical process with unlimited potential.” “ . . . answers to what's wrong and what we can do about it." " . . . return to it repeatedly as a resource.” . . . “The index of examples is wonderful!” . . . “Truly a superb book." . . . “This book may be preventing many years of unnecessary, damaging stress to my life.” “ . . . without words to sufficiently express my gratitude.” . . . “A tour de force.” . . . “ Not only should this book not die out, but it should be in every household.” “ . . . fascinating material — brilliant.” “ . . . profound changes can happen so quickly.” . . . “So simple, I don’t know why no one has discovered it before.” “ . . . truly a paradigm-shifting book.” “ . . . gives me new direction.” “ . . . a message that should be spread across the nation.”
Book on CD: $118.00 US $129.00 Canadian Add to Cart
Audio Selections from Taking the War Out of Our Words:
Unfair Division of Labor at Work —Gordon & Selma
(CD 1, Track 12, CD 4, Track 11 & CD 6, Track 9)
A Friend's Insecurity Creates Disappointment —Celeste and Maria
(CD 1, Track 4 & CD 6, Track 9)
A Marriage Crisis —Mena and Todd
(Book on CD, CD 4, Track 4 & PNDC Principles and Practices, Track 15)
A World of Potential—The Organic Power of the Non-Defensive Process —The Breakfast Club & Ami's Story (CD 11, Track 12)
Praise: "I learn better by listening rather than reading … Having heard you speak at a conference, I told my significant other about my excitement to learn more … he suggested we listen to your CDs on a long road trip… We did, stopping the CDs at various points to discuss something we had heard. When we finished, my geologist / financial analyst / significant other said he felt we should listen to the CDs again on the drive back home! During the second listening, we stopped the CDs many more times, realizing there was even more to gain … we would discuss how something … related to our relationship, or a relationship we had with another family member, colleague or client. We… will… revisit the CDs many times … . The way the individual CDs are coded will allow us to go back to favorite areas easily." —Marge Coffey, LCSW-C
Sharon's Tips on Using the CD's to Greatest Advantage: Many people listen to the entire book on CD and/or entire chapters in one sitting. At the same time, I want the CDs to be a good resource for quick reference, learning, and reinforcing skills. With that in mind, I have created 10 to 20 tracks for each chapter, so you can listen to small portions at a time and/or easily find exactly what you need in the moment. It makes the track booklet an ideal tool for time-spaced learning, which has been proven to one of the most highly effective methods of gaining skill.
PNDC Principles and Practical Skills —An 80-minute overview of Taking the War Out of Our Words
More . . . PDF: Complete List of Tips for Using the Book& CDs
PNDC Principles & Practices: $19.00 US $23 Canadian Add to Cart
About the CD: Using rich stories in this 80-minute overview of her book, Taking the War Out of Our Words, Sharon Strand Ellison shows how we have long used the rules of war as the basis for human conversation. Because of this, we can get defensive quickly, intensifying conflict. Sharon has developed a new paradigm called Powerful Non-Defensive Communication that gives us the tools we need to protect ourselves without getting defensive and enables us to achieve our goals without engaging in power struggle.
Sharon's Tips on Using the CD: I often recommend that people listen to the single CD before reading the book. It is a short, thorough overview of the book. Also, the section on the physiology of defensiveness is not in the book. And you can hear me model the voice tone for the communication process; for example, I teach how to dramatically alter our questions —simply by coming down in tone instead of up— at the end.
Audio Selections from PNDC Principles and Practices:
The Tire Story, Part 1 — A Rude Clerk —Sharon & George
(Track 1)
The Tire Story, Part 2 — Quantum Leaps for Both of Us: —Sharon & George
(Track 2)
The Physiology of Defensiveness: —Research by Dr. Joseph Le Deux
(Track 4)
Cultural Competence — A Mandatory Workplace Training: Michael's Story
(Track 14)
Praise: “Hearing your voice as a model, then following it myself was calming and helped me to bring my voice down to a non-defensive tone."…"I have never heard anyone teach this way of communicating." ... ”I am able to listen calmly when under attack and not feel threatened."…“Your CD … has saved my relationship with my husband and dramatically improved my relationship with my son.” More . . .
Taking Power Struggle Out of Parenting —Audiobook: Four CDs read by Sharon
Taking Power Struggle Out of Parenting: $57.00 US $63.00 Canadian Add to Cart
About the CDs: Parents often struggle to achieve balance between setting the limits childen and teens need to be secure and the freedom they need to grow as individuals. Here you'll find practical tools for transforming your family — creating an environment that enhances your child's security and freedom, respect and openness, competence and spontaneity, reciprocity and creativity.
The Set Consists of 4 CDs: (1) The Authority Continuum, (2) Limit Setting: Creating Firm, Nurturing Boundaries, (3) Your Child's Life as Story: Asking Curious, Disarming Questions, and (4) Conversations Your Child Will Cherish: Having Honest, Equal Talks. More About each CD . . .
Audio Selections from Taking Power Struggle Out of Parenting:
A Couple’s Argument over Daughter’s Rudeness—Jose & Idallia
(CD 6, Track 8
Teenager Complains about the Bike Dad Bought Him —Tighe and Frankie (CD 3, Track 14)
Homework Process & a Child’s Self-Esteem —Lisa & Denise
(CD 3, Tracks 3 & 22
Third Grader Protects Herself with Brother Who Hits Her —Melissa
(CD 1, Track 7)
5-Year-Old Child Sets Limit with Parent: —Sam & Ami
(CD 2, Track 26)
Praise: “… a way out of our power struggles with our children.”…“I had been getting the words right, but my tone and body language had been defensive.” . . . “I had a conversation with my son which was enriching, productive and gratifying in a way that no prior conversation had been within memory. We both emerged from our formerly unshakeable patterns.” “ … totally applicable to my teenager, my husband and anyone else I chose to communicate with!"…” “ …already had positive results.” “ …happens in nano-seconds.”…"My technique is primitive but wildly effective.” “… now quite an amazing little girl.”… “I held my boundaries really well, and it's like I have my child again.” “ … not only cooperative, but more loving and affectionate” “… stopped his temper tantrum right away.”…“To my shock, he even seemed in a better mood." “… something years of family and individual therapy have not been able to accomplish.”… “The real gift in Sharon's work is that of hope.”
