Sharon Strand Ellison

Sharon Strand Ellison, Founder and Executive Director of IPNDC, is an award-winning speaker, author of Taking the War Out of Our Words, and the creator of the Powerful Non-Defensive Communication™ (PNDC) process. Sharon was a Scholar in Residence at St. John’s University and is a pioneer in developing methods for eliminating defensiveness. Her audio-book, Taking Power Struggle Out of Parenting won a Benjamin Franklin Award. She provides training programs and keynotes for both professional and personal growth organizations. Her client list includes Hewlett Packard, Nordstrom, Wells Fargo, Lockheed Martin, and the Centre for Dispute Resolution in London.

• Current Work
• Background and development of PNDC

Current Work

Sharon Strand Ellison, founder of Ellison Communication Consultants, of Oakland, California, is an award-winning speaker and internationally recognized consultant. Sharon was a nominee for the "Leadership in a Changing World" Award, sponsored by the Ford Foundation and the Advocacy Institute. Sharon works with people in thirteen different professions, including administrative personnel, small businesses, corporations, education, healthcare, government, law, law enforcement, social service, non-profits. Sharon also works extensively with youth, families, and community organizations. She is dedicated community building in every environment.

During her 35-year career, Sharon Ellison has developed and refined the Powerful Non-Defensive Communication process. And she has the rare gift of blending her ability to create cutting- edge communications theory with exceptional skills as a speaker, group facilitator and hands-on communication coach.

Workshops and Training Programs: Sharon takes her groundbreaking theory and teaches practical, efficient communication skills to people of all ages, socioeconomic backgrounds, and professions. Independently or with a team of trainers, she can provide a combination of workshops, systems analysis and coaching for any organization.

Specifically tailored training programs can guide people to eliminate dysfunctional defensiveness and interact with respect and honesty. This dramatically increases the ability of those in the organization to gain strength from diverse viewpoints and skills, create cohesiveness, maintain strong ethics, increase productivity, and achieve desired goals. The result can create a paradigm shift that alters both the organizational culture and functioning of individuals and groups within it.

Public Speaking: An articulate, award-winning speaker, Sharon is a member of the National Speakers Association. The spontaneous quality of her presentations provides depth of content while engaging the audience-whether in a short conference keynote or in extended training.

Sharon can apply the principles and practical skills of PNDC to any topic. Adept at using role play to demonstrate PNDC techniques, she will skillfully engage the audience, regardless of group size. One participant says of her presentations, "They'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge of it."

Systems Analysis: According to Adrienne Rich, "Theory [is] the seeing of patterns." Sharon's "theoretical" work is grounded in systems analysis-the recognition and clear description of the patterns in any system. Her theory precisely outlines the functioning of two communication systems or models: The War Model, and the Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication Model.

Sharon is also adept at analyzing systems of interaction and functioning within various units of an organization or the organization as a whole. Her clients are amazed at the rapidity with which she can perceive complex systemic "snags" and suggest effective, empowering solutions.

Practical Coaching: Active as an hands-on coach for 35 years, Sharon can provide on-the-spot feedback to people in environments ranging from family homes to corporate boardrooms. She is highly effective with people who are resistant to change as well as active learners.

For example, Sharon was hired to provide on-the-spot feedback for a corporate executive who, in spite of having essential technical skills, was at risk of being fired because of his aggressive communication style. Over a two- day period, Sharon observed the executive in meetings and individual interactions, giving him feedback following each encounter. By the end of the second day, he was being complimented on how well he facilitated a meeting.

Sharon is direct, honest and respectful with all clients. She provides hard-to-hear feedback with gentleness and enhances confidence with positive feedback.

Publications: The paperback edition of Sharon's book, Taking The War Out of Our Words: The Art of Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication, will be released in the Fall of 2002. The book is available now on this web-site. She has been featured on television talk shows and in radio interviews on NPR and Radio International for Peace.

Back to top

Sharon's Background and the Development of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication

Even as a child, Sharon was a practical and creative problem solver. When she was two years old, at the end of World War II, one day while her mother was at the post office, she struck up an acquaintance with a man who was wearing a sailor's uniform (her own father was in the Army). She took him by the hand, led him to her mother, and said, "Look mommy, I found us a new daddy."

Always a tenacious philosopher, Sharon based her ideas on her constant observations of human behavior. Sharon was inclined to be open about everything. Her mother observed, on several occasions, "When God passed out the sensor between the brain and the mouth, Sharon was behind the door." Sharon did learn appropriate social skills with her mother's guidance(!) but kept her ability to be spontaneous and to be curious about why others weren't more open. Sharon believed that much of the conflict and pain she saw in people's lives was caused by not talking more honestly. Without knowing it, she was working with the seeds of her theory even as a child.

Encouraged by her father to take speech classes, Sharon became an award-winning speaker and debater in high school and college. Her speaking skills, based on persuasion and argument, actually reinforced her belief that there was something wrong with the typical system of communication in use everywhere.

As Sharon grew older, in the face of much teasing and skepticism, she continued to believe that people did not need to suffer so much-with problems ranging from misunderstanding to violence. "If we changed how we communicate, we could change the world," she kept saying. But she wasn't sure how.

Sharon began to formulate her ideas in her high school and college papers. As a young professional counselor, she spent countless hours thinking about various theories of human nature, determining what she considered to be the strengths and weaknesses of each.

Sharon began her career working in a juvenile court center. She loved doing shift work with the youth in their daily environment because she believed she could have more impact on them as individuals. In her years as a counselor, she continued working "on-site," with families in their homes.

In the early 1970s, Sharon co-directed a unique government-funded program for at-risk children. Within the context of the program, Sharon and others worked with the children in a play therapy setting on the playground. She also observed and trained the teachers. Parents participated in classes in limit setting and communication. In addition, Sharon went into homes and provided further on-site coaching for the parents and children.

This comprehensive program, which worked with each child in numerous environments, was highly effective in changing the attitude and performance of at-risk children. This inclusive model cemented Sharon's commitment to a blend of systemic analysis and hands-on treatment.

While still in her twenties, Sharon began to provide training programs for families, teachers, counselors, and therapists based on her communication theories.

Eventually, she developed a systematic approach to describing the traditional "War Model" for communication. While her descriptions are based on her own Euro-American experience, people from a wide variety of racial and cultural backgrounds confirm that this model, with some variations, is used in their families and communities.

Sharon then created a systematic way to describe how to communicate non-defensively with far more power and effectiveness than we can have by being defensive. But she couldn't figure out what to call it because she couldn't find a word in the English language which describes how to communicate powerfully without either (a) being dependent on someone else's cooperation, or (b) engaging in power struggle. Ultimately she named this new model "Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication."

Using this model, Sharon provides training for professionals from more than a dozen different professions, as well as community organizations, individuals, couples, and families. She continues to be dedicated to the belief that changing how we communicate can change the world.

For the story of how Sharon developed Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, starting with childhood observations, read the Introduction to the paperback edition of her book, Taking the War Out of Our Words.

Back to top