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Conference
Topics: Evaluations: For Meeting
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Keynotes & Presentations for Professional Meetings and Conferences
Basic Topics All of the conference topics listed below can be tailored, with pertinent examples, to audiences from:
Basic Topics
Don't Be So Defensive! Relax into
the Power of Your Potential The Question: Did Curiosity Kill
the Cat - Or Win the Peace Prize? Stop Trying to Convince Others
and then They'll Really Listen! Speaking with
Clarity, Confidence, and Authority Don't Threaten Me! Promise Me
- A New Prescription for Respect and Reciprocity Each of these basic topics focuses on key aspects of Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication (PNDC). The goal is two-fold:
These new skills provide a solid foundation for all aspects of professional communication, including individual professional development and productivity, conflict resolution, respecting diversity, teamwork, and management skills. Presentation Descriptions: The titles here are designed to be self-explanatory and the topic descriptions to convey clearly and thoroughly what each presentation covers. Our goal: To make it as easy as possible for you, as a meeting planner or other interested person, to quickly and effectively evaluate the applicability of any program for your organization. Changes: If you wish, the titles can be changed to meet the needs of your group, descriptions can shortened, formats altered, and/or content outlines included. Each Basic topic covers one type of Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication.
Don't Be So Defensive! Relax
into to the Power of Your Potential.
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Made me realize how pervasive defensiveness is! and how important it is to change it-plus we got real skills to do it!. —Conference participant's evaluation |
When I ask people in an audience, "How well do you learn when you are defensive?," the answers range from not well to not at all. Yet defensiveness is epidemic. Most people in the same audience say that when someone says something that "pushes their buttons," they can get defensive in a nano-second and it may last all day or even have a long term affect on a relationship with a co-worker.
Like any epidemic, defensiveness is contagious, passed from one person to another, but you can learn skills that provide the antidote. During this presentation, you can discover how to free yourself to focus on your own development instead of getting bogged down in defensive interactions and ongoing power struggles. Participants will learn to identify the six common defensive modes people use daily at work (and at home).
You can learn how to shift away from being tense and defensive and develop a more relaxed, quick responsiveness that enhances your competence. You will also learn how to respond easily to all the different types of defensiveness you encounter in others. Using the skills offered in this presentation, you can respond with non-defensive clarity and power in any situation.
| It was amazing to feel the difference in how I reacted when [Sharon] modeled both a defensive and non-defensive tone, asking the same question. —Conference participant's evaluation |
Most of us are too busy making our own point to have fully developed the art of asking questions. And when we do ask questions, our demeanor often unconsciously reflects the centuries-old "mask of interrogation" that prompts others to get defensive instead of open up. Using a blend of story and skill building exercises, Sharon will guide participants in learning all about the magical power of non-defensive questions. Learning how to ask genuine, curious, innocent questions is the foundation for understanding, for intimacy, a foundation for meaningful, fulfilling relationships.
In this presentation you will learn all about the magical power of non-defensive questions. You will learn how a specific, tiny change in tone and becoming conscious of common, interrogating facial expressions can alter how your questions are received by others. Participants will experience how dramatic the difference is when the usual way of asking gets a defensive response that is so pronounced that audience members can feel it physically, and the new way of asking feels so disarming that people feel compelled to respond with openness and sincerity.
In addition, participants will learn a variety of formats for asking effective questions. Audience members can walk away with tools that can be used to promote healing and change in quantum leaps. The answer: It wins the prize.
| This is the way to express my opinion clearly and have it be respected. - In one hour I felt a sense of confidence. Sharon made me feel it can be safe to speak up. —Conference participant's evaluation |
This is the way to express my opinion clearly and have it be respected. - In one hour I felt a sense of confidence. Sharon made me feel it can be safe to speak up -Conference participant's evaluation
Typically, when seeking to convince others of an important point, people add forced energy, like a false front, trying to convince others to listen, often stating opinion as fact. They may hide any flaws they see in their own argument for fear of weakening their position. People often also hide their vulnerability unless they feel very "safe" with the other person. Most of us learned something about the "art of persuasion" in school or in life, but we didn't learn how it often causes power struggles, undermines our ability to protect ourselves, prevents us from being "heard," even when we are trying to help a loved one or friend.
You will get the chance to experience and compare both the old methods of "persuasion" and a new method for how to speak with clarity, confidence and authority. You can learn how to express yourself with a blend of vulnerability and honesty that has remarkable power, enhancing the odds that others will listen to you with greater openness and responsiveness. Making statements subjectively, like telling a story in a natural tone, can give inspiration to the expression of our beliefs, emotions, and thoughts.
The Greek Sophist Gorgias said that logos, the word, "with the smallest and most invisible body accomplishes the most god-like works." Using the skills presented, you can tap into the true power of your expression. Even in cases where others have closed ears, you do not have to lose the power of your voice, and you can walk away with increased self-esteem. Most often, this kind of genuine openness will draw others to feel trust and respect for you.
| Now I have the key to setting more effective limits without being harsh.—Conference participant's evaluation |
Most people think of making predictions in terms of the kind of "limit setting" parents do with children, a parental kind of "control." If one person does make a limit setting prediction, such as "If you don't bring your dirty clothes into the laundry room, then I won't wash them," the other adult might ask, "Are you threatening me?!" Most adults think that by the time they are "grown up" people should know how to cooperate and so they see limit setting with other adults as inappropriate.
Unfortunately, the result of this lack of willingness and ability to set boundaries destroys the fabric of may relationships. For example, allowing a partner to continue to interrupt us, day after day, year after year, without doing anything effective to stop the intrusion can severely damage the love. Many of the problems people have with limit setting do also carry over to how parents set limits with their children, often fluctuating between permissiveness and occasional outbursts of frustrated harshness, a throw-back to punitive attitudes.
In this presentation, you will learn how make simple, firm, gentle, predictions that relieve stress and enhance positive relationships with children and adults alike. You can learn and practice how to make predictions that are a promise instead of a threat, creating security through predictability. This kind of effective limit setting is absolutely essential to creating relationships built on respect and reciprocity. A bonus is that when people know how to be genuinely reciprocal they also become increasingly competent and can fulfill more of their individual potential.
Sharon can do a presentation that demonstrates how PNDC can be used to deal with any situation or issue. For example, currently people in many professions are having trouble with rude, angry, hostile people. She can tailor a presentation on this issue to the needs of people in various professional settings. In the box below are a few examples.
Corporate Settings: "Eliminating
Rudeness in the Workplace"
University Settings: "Incivility
in The Classroom"
Government Organizations: "Dealing
with Angry Citizens"
Healthcare: "Respectful Relationships
Among Doctors, Nurses, and Patients"
The following are a few more examples of specialized topics which can be tailored to various professional audiences. In each case, sets of non-defensive skills will be taught which apply specifically o the type of situation which is dealt with by the topic, such as sales or dealing with negative people.
The Feedback Loop: How to Give
and Receive Feedback
Getting out of the Bureaucrat's
Quicksand: Give Outstanding Service with Low
Stress
No-Pressure Sales with High Yield
The Real Apology-Key to Accountability
Why Do We Give the Negative Person
So Much Power?
People can get incredibly defensive about giving
and/or receiving feedback in professional situations.
Yet, doing so is key to professional growth.
Have you noticed that when people give feedback,
it is often either critical, harsh, and judgmental
or indirect and vague, perhaps even non-existent?
How people give and receive feedback is a major
problem in most organizations. This presentation
will demonstrate how to change that with four
steps for giving the kind of honest feedback
that others may even seek out, as well as how
to hear and respond to all kinds of feedback.
These skills provide the backbone for strong
individuals and work teams.
People in a wide range of institutions that provide services to the public are confronted with work-overload, conflicting demands, and rude people, including both co-workers and members of the public. Whether you work in an education, government, health care, or social service, the demands of the job may cause you to sink from the idealism of being a service oriented person-dedicated to empowering individuals and strengthening community-into a nay-saying bureaucrat with an "attitude". Learning non-defensive communication skills can give you the tools to continue to be a positive, creative person, speak with clarity so others listen, and set limits when necessary, increasing the respect others have for you. The outcome is that-without becoming a stressed out time-bomb- you can provide excellent service, feel fulfilled and go home relaxed.
Making quick, high-pressure sales can damage your reputation and your long-term performance. Learn how to make sales that create loyal customers and expand your customer base. You will gain skills in asking questions that quickly get to the core of your customer's needs. You will also learn how to present your product or service without pressuring the client, while making it strikingly clear how it will meet the individual's or organization's needs. You will find out when to refer the client to someone else and how that can enhance your business. Finally, you will develop the ability to make predictions that enhance the customer/client's trust in you and confidence in your advise.
The real apology is an endangered species. Most apologies are counterfeit and many of them actually attack and blame the person receiving the apology. Have fun while learning how to give a "real" apology, which strengthens your own character and gains the respect of others. Knowing how to give a real apology is one of the cornerstones for healthy ongoing professional relationships with both co-workers and clients.
Some people go beyond just sometimes being defensive and become a wet blanket over everyone they come in contact with. We tend to give negative people who act cold, manipulative, depressive, hostile, and/or withholding the power to control group mood and/or agenda. The cost is high. This presentation will demonstrate effective, quick, yet sincere and respectful methods for dealing with such people. Doing so has a powerful effect on the office atmosphere and functioning of the staff. A side effect is that the person may even lighten up and become part of the team! If not and they can no longer drag others down, they often quit and you can throw a going away party!
More topic ideas under Specialized Focus Topics, Training Applications for Various Professions, and General Training Options.
| How you worked together and modeled this communication process was spectacular! —Conference participant's evaluation |
All eleven, highly skilled trainers in the PNDC Consortium do presentations at association meetings and conferences. They can present solo and/or co-facilitate with Sharon Ellison or other members of the consortium. This is a diverse team and each person is an outstanding trainer with various areas of expertise.
As a meeting planner, have you ever had the embarrassing problem of having the message from one of your speakers contradicted by the next speaker's message, leaving attendees confused and frustrated? Or had a lack of continuity among various essential programs?
Since all of the consultants in the PNDC Consortium are skilled in teaching Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, various speakers can present any of the basic and specialized topics. In addition, since Consortium members have various areas of expertise, they have many of their own topics to present.
You can have a whole set of seasoned speakers who address a range of vital topics, but reinforce the learning of these highly effective communication skills at the same time.
A Meeting of Two Paths to Empowerment
- Enhance your personal power by using Chi Kung
exercises to shift your energy and attitude
while practicing non-defensive communication.
Double Your Pleasure, Double
Your Fun, Quadruple Your Productivity
- Eliminate limiting concepts about how "work"
has to be done and not only accomplish far more,
but become inspired and creative.
Natural Leadership for Women
- Learn a leadership style that is comfortable
and confident, respected by others in both intimate
and professional relationships
With Vicki Dello Joio and Sharon Ellison
The audience will participate very actively in this presentation. The focus will be two-fold:
With Monza Naff, PhD and Sharon Ellison
As children we play. As adults we work. In school, helping each other on a test is called cheating. We carry these ideas into our grown-up home-life and work-life, often making our lives far more difficult than they would have to be. We get bogged down, and don't learn as well as we might. Then we get defensive and things go from bad to worse.
During this presentation, participants will join with Monza and Sharon and learn how to think outside the box in terms of making work easier and more fun. Participants will learn some surprising things, such as how to avoid doing tasks they dislike. They'll also learn how to help each other more effectively, learn better and faster, find a myriad of creative approaches to mundane tasks and create effective solutions for complicated issues. This principles can be used at home and at work.
Participants will leave with a new mind set that brings play to work and home-tasks while enhancing competence and job satisfaction. Making this combined shift in attitude and behavior, people can go home from work rejuvenated and full of ideas for tomorrow. They can gain much more cooperation from family members and keep a smoother running home that enhances family solidarity and each person's competence.
Sharon Ellison co-facilitates this presentation with Fabienne McPhail, Mercedes Martin and/or other women in the PNDC Consortium
To realize our potential as women in the 21st century, we must stimulate others to value our competence and leadership styles. We still often struggle for respect even when we demonstrate strong leadership qualities. Too often, we are still viewed as either aggressive and harsh or nice and ineffectual, while men are seen positively as unemotional and competitive.
Using traditional communication patterns can hold us back, causing us to react defensively and locking us into stereotypes that cause us to be less-than- fully actualized. This damages our ability be respected as leaders at work and in the community. It also prevents us from being full peers in our intimate relationships, and/or respected for our wisdom within our families, We participate in undermining our own self-esteem and confidence, as well as engaging in power struggles that deplete our energy and block us from achieving our goals.
Together Sharon and one or more other women from the PNDC Consortium will demonstrate how women from various classes and races can use the power of non-defensive communication to overcome a history of oppression. The methods used are designed to help women achieve understanding and respect in interactions with other women and with men, in both intimate and professional relationships.
Using these skills can empower all of us as women to have greater strength in shaping a future in which effective leadership fuses assertiveness and compassion, giving us the tools we need to support and strengthen each other, and making our diversity an asset in creating strong families and communities.
Presentations on Natural Leadership
can be offered for men and for mixed groups
of men and women.