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Participant Comments
Signed Comments
Unsigned Comments
Signed Participant Comments
After a decade of being on the public speakers circuit showing my films
about world peace, it became clear to me that creating peace really does
begin with the individual. I wanted to clean up my own act. I was looking
for a way to help me communicate with clarity and an open heart. After
searching for some time, I had the good fortune to find Sharon and Powerful
Non-Defensive Communication. Her book is terrific and so are her workshops.
I hope she reaches a critical mass, so we can all improve our lives personally
and globally. —Vivienne Verdon-Roe,
Academy Award winner, Women for America, for the World
I thoroughly enjoyed your wonderful energy clarity. I admire you for
doing something that is truly a representation of who you are-and you
do it superbly. It is my belief that the universe supports us when we
can be who we are fully. I agree that so many options for how to resolve
individual and community problems have been invisible as long as we have
operated inside the "war model" for communicating. I see your
book becoming a best seller, and your message spreading out across the
nation. —Rob Merlo
How many times have I said "Well, I know what she's going to say,
so why bother asking?" This kind of anticipation is exactly what
keeps us in conflict with others. Sharon teaches the art of asking questions
without any assumptions or expectations. And, miraculously, what we hear
is rarely what we anticipated. And here is where the learning and the
real communication begins. You are one of the people who will help turn
us from the violent society we are to a more powerful and loving one.
—Jenine Sternlieb, Host, A Novel
Idea, KRCB Radio
In this workshop I saw you handle conflicts that arose with a skill and
effectiveness that amazed me. I saw you show a well-developed sensitivity
to differences such as gender and culture that was unbiased and open to
new information. You also focused on holding each person (including me)
accountable -- gently and disarmingly -- for specific behavior and its
impact, and coached each of us to say directly what we want to say without
attacking, defending, hiding or giving up. —Emily
Zimmerman
This is fascinating material-brilliant. You are a master. Your methods
are so extraordinary. You are like a contemporary Freud. It is so outrageous
what you have discovered. And actually, it's so simple, it's beyond belief
that we haven't been here before. I think when the world finds out about
you, Sharon, it's just going to be an explosion of marvelous things. —Carol
Blumenfeld, Owner of Carol's Cow Hollow Inn & Albion House Inn, San
Francisco, CA
Although it's only been short period of time, I feel a genuine shift
to a calmer attitude towards everything I've done since the workshop.
Driving, having dinner with friends, talking on the phone, it all just
feels better because I know I don't need to be drawn in or snagged by
any hooks. I even had a conversation with my mother where she actually
listened to me!
I think that deep down, on some hidden level, we know we're hurting each
other somehow when we're in power struggle, but it's so automatic, so
expected and accepted, that we don't even think to stop and ask ourselves
what that pain is all about. We have such powerful, untapped brains.
When I started speaking differently, it was so obvious. When I realized
my words weren't betraying my actual feelings, I was blown away and I
felt more in touch with my emotions. The best analogy I can come up with
is that if I'm a camera body, I've just been given a new set of lenses.
A set of lenses with no distortion. No matter what I'm viewing, the images
that come out of me are true. —Jesse
di Franco
The vision in itself is powerful-that we could create a world where this
model of communication was practiced uniformly, or better yet where this
model was automatic. It almost takes my breath away to imagine it. Imagine
the changes the we would see.
I found the workshop format extremely valuable, providing solid information
along with a nice balance in practicing and receiving feedback. The idea
of communicating with integrity and authenticity is a laudable goal. How
to do that without powering over others is a true art, and one I now look
forward to cultivating with a mix of joy, excitement-and a little apprehension!
Now I will work on summoning the courage to test the ideas out here in
the trenches!
—Ellen Russell
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Unsigned Participant Comments
- You are one of the people who will help turn us from the violent
society we are to a more powerful and loving one.
- I am amazed how the results are almost identical for men and
women and for so many diverse personalities.
- You are masterful and elegant in the presentation of the work
and in the gentle way you interacted with us. I strongly believe that
you will achieve national recognition with this communication method.
It is larger and more powerful that the Mars/Venus model!
- You have provided us with new options for how to communicate
that have been completely invisible to us as long as we have operated
inside the "war model."
- I went home after the first session and asked my husband one
non-defensive question and we had the best conversation we've ever had.
- What I'm learning from PNDC is to become aware of how I point
the finger and place the blame on others for my own defensive reactions.
I'm also seeing that their seemingly offensive behavior is really defensive
behavior.
- Yesterday I found myself feeling quite critical of the whole
process. It seemed contrived and artificial. Today I see it differently.
It is a bridge to get us from our past way of being and dealing with life's
problems to a new and better and more honest way of being. If it seems
strange and difficult at the beginning that is because we do not realize
the extent of our immersion in the old, dysfunctional way of relating.
I'm 78 years old - it's going to be hard to change. But I'm going to try.
- This work is a map. It gives me new direction and I hope that
my life in this world can become more and more wondrous, worthwhile, and
human. Thank you for your life's gift to our world.
- I thoroughly enjoyed your wonderful energy, and the clarity
with which you explained everything. I see your book becoming a best seller,
and your message spreading out across the nation.
- I feel like the boa constrictor that just ate an elephant, it
will take me months to digest this.
- Very good, imaginative analysis of typically difficult conversations.
I can see how this kind of language work could empower both typically
"aggressive" or "passive" verbal types.
- I am staggered by the flood of responses I am having to this
workshop. Amazed at Sharon's insights, excited by the possibilities, and
also terrified by the prospect of truly getting beyond the defensive postures
to dealing honestly with intimate relationships.
- The workshop was incredibly empowering and inspiring. The skills
and lessons should be taught to us starting from a young age.
- After last night's session, I awoke this morning like a student
eager to get to class and learn more. I think this approach will take
effort and commitment, but I am excited about its possibilities for me
personally, and beyond me to our society and the world.
- This workshop came at a time when I was looking for a way to
express myself in my relationship with more heart. I got what I needed!
- I have to admit I was a bit nervous at first about coming. I
have sometimes walked out of workshops, but you made me feel very comfortable.
I not only enjoyed the seminar immensely, I learned a lot! I had no idea
that this would be so helpful and pertinent. I'm aware now that there
is another way.
- Excellent! A clear conceptual model. Easy to remember.
- The kind of communication skills you are teaching should be
started at the cradle for our new ones and shouted from the roof tops
for those of us stuck in our patterns of defensiveness.
- This workshop had a transforming effect on me. I learned a great
deal about how I communicate and about my own inner power struggles.
- I think you are inspiring revolutionary behavior! I love how
you gave everyone opportunity to participate.
- I think the work you are doing is not only extraordinarily significant;
it is just plain extraordinary!
- I learned how to relate with people in a way that I can find
strength for myself.
- The concept of the material you teach is astonishing to me.
I have spent most of my life defending or attacking, and getting nowhere
fast. I look forward to distilling this and putting it to work.
- I can not only improve my current relationship, but can see
what I could have done differently in past ones.
- At one or two points I felt as though I might not be able to
stay with it. I wasn't sure of its value for me. But then the time went
very quickly when I perceived the potential of these communication skills
and saw the impact they were having on others present. I feel as though
I have only a very small clue as to the enormously positive changes my
practice of non-defensive communication can bring about. I learned much
about myself in the whole workshop.
- The best part for me was the practice time, because I was able
to experience my old ways in comparison with the new way.
- I knew there had to be a way, but I couldn't see through the
power struggle mode. So I am thrilled to receive this clarity. Thank you.
- The most important thing I felt all day was how much I wish
that I could have taken this workshop 40 years ago.
- I feel I will use this, not only in my present relationship,
but also in reviewing (and revising) my part in past relationships.
- I felt the premise of the workshop was very important for the
evolution of the planet. I am glad you are doing this work.
- Trying to change long established patterns of interacting is
always difficult, challenging and risky. A grand concept!
- Frustrating, overwhelming feeling of inadequacy to the task,
and as if I've been offered a route to a new form of communication that
is like a golden gift, to me and others. I have great hope for the changes
this could bring me.
- I feel that the workshop gave me a method to live what I believe
is possible in relationships. Sometimes I got chills in my body or tears
in my eyes from your statements about how we can be non-defensive and
still be safe/protected - that in fact, this is the way to be safe.
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